:S

Boys and girls have just fun. Grown ups have a life!
I know this is a very generic comment and open to interpretations but I am having a very hard time with it……

5 Obstructions

“Something happened today. I am hoping to understand it in a day or two”

It is a seemingly anthropological movie where a human being (a man, switching occasionally to a woman) does various basic actions, walking, dressing, eating, undressing, jumps, dances, and a voice over says how we are going to "see the perfect human being in action". There is the occasional introspective line where the character ponders, "Today, too, I had an experience that I hope I shall understand in a few days' time."

This is a film which has much to say about filmmaking and creativity. It makes a powerful demonstration of the fact that the film made with the fewest restrictions is the worst. The result is a movie that is intelligent, incisive, artistic, and inspiring.

The ending is unexpectedly moving.

"Tortoise on His Back"

Trier is actually doing a documentary about Leth and his creative process. Each obstruction is designed to show off Leth’s presumed genius at getting around the obstruction and produce a ever better movie. It is about Leth overcoming his own shortcomings and dislikes.

The forth film reminded me of Scanner Darkly. Trier chooses as the fourth obstruction, that Leth has to film the next version as a cartoon. Both men claim to despite cartoons. Leth hires an Austin, Texas cartoonist, Bob Sabiston, and the result, is visually interesting and amazing. I specifically loved the scene with perfect human falling down on a red background with different angels.

The ending justifies the rather long and mentally intriguing preface. No artifice. I watched it three times.

It was a documentary testament to Trier's own particular genius.

Humans vs. Numbers

1 €
N = {1, 2, 3, 4, 5, ...}

Z = {..., -5, -4, -3, -2, -1, 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, ...}

One belongs to more than one set of numbers. Why can’t we? Even numbers have more options that we do. They can enjoy the companionship of all the negative numbers while having the luxury of ditching them when not necessary and chill with the positive ones. Sometimes they even go ahead and mix up with the Rational and Irrational ones.

Logically though some of these sets are subset of other ones. So why do we create the other sets?

Is it because we like variety and get bored easily? Or is it because one wants to be closer to some numbers at certain times? or does it want to take a break from others?

Sometimes I really feel bad for zero and other times I am proud of it. Do you think the numbers on its sides would get into fights if zero was not there? I think when zero was taking a break the two sets started to make babies and made the Real set, don’t you think so?

Anyways, my point is that one likes to belong to more than one set at one time! But when it gets to intimate matters as humans we usually can not deal with it…..But didn't we, humans, invented the numbers ourselves?

Choices...

There is life, and there is existence
There is living, and there is life
There is life, and there is having one!
And after all these there are life styles!

The Look!

I wrote this few days back:

“what do u you most like in guys? What is the most important feature in guys that you like? What is the first thing you look at?”

I have been wondering about that for a very long time. I have been frustrated and annoyed at myself for not knowing and not being able to figure it out.

Now….. out of the sudden it hits me. This idea has been passing my brain cells for a while but for some reason I never gave it much thought.

The mot attractive thing in guys for me is the way they look at me. To be exact I have to say that it is what I see when I look at them.

It is very subjective on what you see when you look at someone’s eye. That is the big questions?!

“How real are the things you see?” “Is what you see, really exists?” Very hard question to answer.

There has been a lot of time that I thought I was right about something and I was not. At the time though, I thought I was hundred percent sure that I was right.

Oh wow!!! So do we really love or loved to be loved? Do we like what we see or what we like to see?! That, is the question.

Vaysta donyaa man mikham piyaadeh sham!

Sitting down by the window. The soft breeze touches your skin.

It starts weird. It is always hidden. Feels like it is forbidden, It is amazing but it is weird. It comes and goes… It is full of uncertainness. There is a whole field filled with possible detours. Contains alot of variables. It is a constant attraction. Unfortunately or maybe fortunately there is a higher power which tries to keep them away… It is forbidden.

It is fun. It is amazing. It makes sense. It is rigid and firm. It is comfortable. You have a road map. It is logical but it is missing something. It is missing the “eeeeee”. You know what that is? It is the force between negative and positive pole. It is what it draws them together as soon as they are close enough.

I hate making decisions. What if I leave it for another day? Can’t it wait?

It is convoluted. It is confusing. It is a fight between the brain and whole other world mixed of baskets of fruits!

What you are going to do?

My Day

I woke up.
Imagine this….
You are happy; the kind of happy that have the right people around you to enjoy your time.
Then you are very happy; the kind of happy that you are just enjoying yourself and don’t care.

Then something happens. Something very small, like a thin thread. Like a drop of our own drink on your skin….. and you come out of it.

You are looking around and sometimes making comments in the current conversation. Then you go back to the place you were before. I can’t explain the place. Everyone is just there. No one bothers you. Nobody disturbs you. You are just there………….

“You're my heart, you're my soulI'll keep it shining everywhere I goYou're my heart, you're my soulI'll be holding you foreverStay with you together”

The radio station I am listening to is playing this. Such an old song. Reminds me of long time ago. I think around middle school.

Oh wow, I have missed my cousins. It was so much fun getting together at least once a year and just bug out parents….LOL
Then something happens. Something very small, like a thin thread. Like a sad train of thought that was coming towards you.

And, there you go……….

Where does it end? When did it get started? How did it get started.

You start thinking about it and then déjà vu………
You have been here before. Why are you back here?
You look closely. The theme, the situation is the same but different people. Actually there are shared people between the two but main characters are different.

Then you sit and write but it is late and your eyelids are slipping…….zZZZZzzzzzz

Scanner Darkly

Sacrifice for the greater good?
“Scanner Darkly” was the name of a movie we recently watched. We rented this movie while back and I tried to watch it few times but never passed the first 15 minutes of it.
I finally forced myself to sit and watch the whole thing.
At first the movie is about a drug called substance D and how authorities are trying to put a stop to the widespread use of it. However, later on it becomes about sacrificing for the greater good.

I have always questioned that concept. I can’t make my mind about the matter. Is it really ok to scarify for a greater good? Is it ethical? Can’t form an opinion on it, just can’t.

I don’t think I can ever do that. How can we think of it as an OK thing to do? Who do we think we are to sit and think about other living creatures like they are our toys? But again don’t we all play games to survive? I don’t believe in playing games but I sometimes catch myself playing it like others just to get what I want……..

Good movie, watch it when u get a chance..

Movies

Movies I have watched recently:

Idiocracy: Is human race getting stupider by time?
Bable: It is a bit uncommon for so much weird things happen at the same time. is it? or we just don’t know about everything at the same time?!
The Secret: made me think of “what the blibs do we know”, I don’t agree with everything said in this documentary but I believe some of it, might have different rational for it but I think they are true.
The pursuit of happiness: good one, not as depressing as I thought
Freedom writers: keep a balance life
Casino Royal: Did like this new 007 actor.
Blood Diamond: Sad but a very good movie.
Borat: ewwwwwwwwee
Children of Men: I can see it happening already
America: Freedom to Fascism: Is this for real? It is not a law in US for citizens to pay tax?

Beyond Baby Talk

I was trying to fix the router when my sister threw something out in the trash. As I was sitting there waiting for the computer, router and modem to restart (restarting seems to be a solution to most problems! LOL) I looked into the trash and grabbed the magazine she threw out. It was my York Alumni magazine. I thought I should take a look it before putting it back into the trash. On page 9 couple of pacifiers grabbed my attention. The article’s title was “Beyond Baby Talk”. It was about Maria Legerstee research (psychology professor in York’s Faculty of Health)
“Legerstee says that over the long term, not being in tune with infants short-circuits the communicative rhythm between mother and child. The consequence? Data show short-circuiting affects cognitive development of children down the road-how they perform both in school and later on in life.”
She suggests to moms to forget about the world around them when spending time with their child and “be child-centred”.

I never liked kids. They are headache and I have no patient for them. However, as I age my patient for them increases but I still can not even think about having one yet.
That being said, I think this is a useful piece of information that might come handy later on in life.
Isn’t interesting how we, humans, start being so selfish and self center from early times in our life, five weeks?!! We don’t want just communication. We want our mother to be in tune with us in a genuine emotional way.

Isn’t that what we all want even when we grow up? in our relationships, in our everyday life?
Sometimes it is hard to believe little creatures like babies feel exactly the same way as grown ups……